I was told to meet my contact at the street light at the northwestern edge of the Provencher Bridge at precisely 2:01 PM, when the eclipse would be at its most...eclipsey. 62% eclipsey, to be precise.
I was advised that he had a package that I had to deliver downtown to a man wearing a perogy-shaped hat, carrying a slotted spoon, wearing an apron that had "Kiss the cook" printed on it.
If I didn't meet my contact there at precisely 2:01 PM, I would put the top secret mission at risk, with agents' lives being put in peril, and starting a war without end.
I arrived at the street light at precisely...2:11 PM.
Uh...oops.
Anyway.
